New Home Online

Come to my new online home folks. Mark has done a wonderful job all for little ole me.

Monty's Ceremony

For my friends that are here in Alberta, I promised to put the particulars of Steve/Monty's wake and funeral details here. This is what I have so far:

Wake/Viewing at Memories Funeral Home, 13403 St Albert Trail, in St Albert 1800-2100 hrs on Monday the 20th

Funeral Mass at St Charles Catholic Church, 17653 112st, (the one up by the garrison) 1300 hrs on Tuesday the 21st.

The dress is 1A - DEU with medals.

The jump in honour of Monty was post-poned today because of wind but if I get the timings for next go round, I'll post. I did learn that they jumped his barret for him the day he went into the hospital because he was originally supposed to go up with the coy; though of course he couldn't jump himself. (Tuesday I believe)

Finally, Devil 6 is trying to make it out but for sure his domestic niner is coming, our dear, sweet friend Trish.

We Will Remember!

You can get me at tenderparting@hotmail.com if you have any other questions.

More Loss

We've lost another dear friend to cancer today. His name is Steve deMontbrun and he served with my husband in Afghanistan in 2002 and while he and Mark were bonding soldier-style, Steve's wife and I became a part of this remarkable group of womyn that have been self-dubbed the Apollo YaYas, after the Operation name of Apollo and the Divine Secrets of The YaYa Sisterhood movie.

My heart is just aching for his young life and their budding marriage. I'm completely at a loss for words...all I feel is the ache and I miss my family that much more right now.

ALL GONE!!

OMG, what a pain in the cyber-butt. Thanks to Mark, I discovered that my that my blog had gone AWOL. I ended up having to re-format, so-to-speak, and lost all my personalized items like comments, links etc.. :( Unfortunately I'm the textbook definition of 'end-user' and I'm so short on spare time these days that getting my blog to look anything like what I want again will take some time. (it takes me quite awhile to figure out all those simple little things that most of you can likely do in your sleep ~chuckles~)

On the upside, my daughter is doing much better. Perhaps some of you will know that I ended up racing home Saturday night because she was having breathing difficulties with her asthma? Well, it's going to be a bit of a battle for awhile but everything is stable and we have her under control again. Thank Heavens!!!!

My training has definitely taken a back seat in my life these days but that's better than not being in the vehicle at all of course. ~winks~

Thanks again Mark for checking in on me...you are such a sweetie! :-)

Race: Tanks & Tags

~
Oh, just an aside, I keep forgetting to post my races like other folks do. So, here is my next one: Tanks & Tags in Edmonton. A wonderful little 5Km for a great cause.

Runner At My Back

~
School Girl

Wow, first week of school is off to a great start so far. Though my 'extended family' that are allowing me to board with them are definitely keeping me busy as a little beaver. I definitely need to find a way to get my sleep without seeming rude. They are such awesome gals and I absolutely adore them but my lifestyle is VERY different.

Runner At My Back

Anyway, my intro day was Saturday and guess what? I had a runner sitting behind me. I picked up that he was likely a runner by his 'look.' I'm not sure I can articulate what that means, just that I recognize the look. Sure enough, at lunch break he offered some directions to a lunch location indicating that even though he worked at city hall, he 'ran' during his lunch break so knew very little about the dining locations in the area. I felt oddly comfortable in my class knowing that there was 'another runner' there. Now ironically, he was the tall, lean sleek type and I'm the adorable, cherubby, she-rah type of runner; but we are both runners no matter how fast or what we look like or what kind of trails we choose. We both exuded a certain different kind of confidence I think. And, we were a 'we' even though we didn't speak about our shared runner's life. I thought that was really cool. Plus, he was a very direct and intelligent man so I really enjoyed his contributions. Do you suppose he is like that BECAUSE he is a runner?! ~smiles~

The Running

Well, running in the west end of Edmonton was just downright un-nerving for me. I'm so used to my secluded, protected areas. My trails on the base or in the provincial park. Running in a city residential area was very uncomfortable for me. I was scared and my breathing was incredibly laboured. (breathing problems from fear I'm guessing?) I'm sure most of the fear came from my instincts that were screaming out: "you should NOT be running alone in a place like this no matter WHAT time of day it is."

My plan when I return to Edmonton on Tuesday is to hit the trails on the base. Looks like I'll be working up there in between classes so I'll budget my 2 hour workout into the schedule. ~aside: I LOVE being my own boss~ I have a couple GFs I can run with there and I've missed them horribly. They are SAHMs so they can accommodate my odd mid-day running times by packing up the running stroller in one case and the other gal's kids are in school.

Looks like my days will be jam packed and that is a really good thing.

Ouches

I wonder if anyone can contribute some feedback on sore hips? Not sure what I'm doing differently and I've promised myself a trip to the chiropractor on Wed, but my left hip is really sore when running these days. I can walk without an ounce of complaint but when I break into the run I find it hard to prevent a gentle limp to my stride. I wonder if my weight may be the cause? It shifts so quickly when I need to use my meds that I wonder if my continual shift in my centre of balance could be causing this occur? I've never had it happen before but still, it was the only thing I could come up with since I've not injured myself in any way I can remember. Now, I did dislocate my SI joint a couple years back but when it 'acts up' I get a numb butt and tingly legs, not a sore hip. Ever run with numb bum? Very weird, trust me! LMBO!!

Here I Am

First, I wanted to send a special thank you to Dianna for her extra special support and encouraging words. Your friendship is a wonderful blessing to me my friend. And to all of you who take a moment to stop and share I send my sincere Thanks to you as well.

The Running

I'm only able to get in about 30 minutes, or thereabouts, to run these days, so my distance has dropped to about 5 km route and it's heartbreaking. I keep telling myself it's all okay and the extended break may have many hidden advantages. I've tried to make up for it with extra pushups, dips and situps. My training is right off track, but then again life is on it's own tangent itself of course. ~shakes head~

Next week I'm back to full workouts & running since I'll be in the big, bad city of Edmonton, going to school. Whenever I need to be away from my family I focus on studying (or working etc.), work out, run long & far and sleep. It keeps me sane while dealing with the lonliness.

My New Career

It was so hard to find what it was I wanted to 'be' next now that I'm no longer a soldier. I knew I wanted to help others but boy does that leave you with a tonne of options! :-) I've been mentoring in the Dispute Resolution Centre as a mediation student for 3 weeks now and doing a lot of primary study on conflict resolution as well. I've never felt so happy or peaceful about anything in my life ever before. When I joined the military it was always one test after another and I worked very hard and becoming good at all the different aspects: fitness, battle readiness, trade etc. With mediation I seem to be a 'natural,' and it takes so little effort. The studying is like learning names for something I already know intrinsically and now I'm developing a skill set to go with what already feels 'right.' It's the most remarkable thing really. I'm hoping that when I get back to my real training I will feel the positive energy flow through into that aspect of my life as well.

Well, just wanted to ramble a bit...thanks for listening. Beijos runners!

Ear Aches & Mediation

Okay, two things occupying my time these days (besides the 'Mr' ~winks~). I am pursuing my second-career education, curtesy Army medical retirement program, in the field of Chartered Mediator/Arbitrator while doing my OJT in a Mediation office here on base AND my ear is killing me. So, the result is a serious juggling of my schedules for working out, running, working, studying etc; and, then remember ear aches as a kid? I mean they distract your entire thinking and operating process. I'm maxed out on pain meds and it still hurts (I ignored the pain too long and it got rather nastily infected and damaged). I'm usually very good about listening to my body and taking care of matters but for some reason I just kept thinking, "oh it will pass;" it didn't.

Running has been weird because I'm strong and making good time & distance, and the pain meds for my ear make my knee a non-issue, but I can't think of anything except the throbbing, burning, explosive energy in my right inner ear. I find myself tensing my upper body and when I get home I'm one giant chain of knots under both scapulae. ~whiny sigh~ Still, I'm not wet, dirty, hungry and cold with soggy combat boots so all is well right?! LOL



I'm nervous about not being able to have a regular time of day to work out in the next few months. My schedule for classes is all over the place. Because this program is a series of 'certificate' courses that lasts 2-9 days in length, the timings change from one week to the next of when I will be in class, driving to or from Cold Lake and working. I have to be max flexible, something I dispensed with when I returned my uniform to the QM. Well, running is such second nature to me that I always find the time but weight training is another issue all together. I'm so easily intimidated by new environments, different equiptment etc. now, every new scenario is like a lead weight in personal drive department. ~sigh~

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!! :-)

Oh well, my family is together, I'm 98% physically healthy, as are they and really we are very blessed. A few challenges are necessary to keep you focussed and growing I suppose. Well, I feel much better now. ~smile~

13 More Hours

In 13 hours I get to pick up the 'Mr' and even though this was only a little 2 week jaunt, I'm so incredibly butterfly anxious. I'm really missing him. I guess 6 weeks home after a 9.5 month deployment just wasn't enough for me. :-) I suppose if the 6 weeks was leave time it would be a little different. Okay I'm babbling...oooohhh I'm sooooo excited!!!

Dehydration

So, I mentioned I was back to work and it's full time now, well my eating and drinking pattern is all off. Here's how I found out: I was out for my run on Wednesday and when I got to 3K I started shivering like crazy. It was 32 degrees celcius out without even a gentle breeze!! Thank goodness for my camelback and Gu...it got me home. When I thought about it, I realized that I had consumed maybe two glasses of water in the last 2 days!! HELLO???!!! That is so not me. Well hard wake-up call but now I'm focussed on making sure I eat and drink right...requires preparation when you are a working lady. Like a 1 year hiatus can be that effective in wiping away my strategies for daily survival. Good golly.

Well, I'm on my SIL's computer so I should go. Hope everyone is well, goodness knows I'll be really well in 13 hours. ~winks~

Today

The Run

Well, has anyone ever been on a run that feels like you were shovelling your body parts like pieces of a puzzle along the trail? Good golly but everything felt wierd, broken, sore etc. And there were strange little squeaky noises coming from my left knee...the good one! Well for all that, and a really atrocious time for the distance covered, I was outside and who can ask for more? The clouds were heavy laden with dark moisture and they hung so low in the sky I was sure I could just reach up and snag a piece to eat like cotton candy. Ironically, in spite of the heavy, blackness the sun still rose high and bright in the sky, well above the clouds and the effect was brilliant trickling down through the trees and onto the path. And the aromatheraputic effect on the foilage danced up a jig in my nose. (I was 'sneezy' as my daughter says) LOL :-)



A Little Note On Breathing

When my daughter takes a walk break while she is running, she calls it a 'breathing' break. Now, I assure her that it is not only PERMITTED to breathe while running but it is strongly ENCOURAGED as well. ~giggles~ But I think I know what she means. My first year of running I felt like I was suffocating and trying to breathe through every hole in my head. It's just that adjustment stage for some folks, who are perhaps so in tune with their physiology, that anything out of the ordinary is awkward and uncomfortable even. As your VO2 Max increases you find the difference becoming more and more subtle all the time until it is almost negligable. Well, that's been my experience. Now lately I find myself re-adjusting to breathe comfortably again. The humidity in Northern Alberta has been abnormally high this summer. The barometric pressure dance is really quite uncommon for this area. I'm wondering what the fall will bring?

Before The Run

Hmm, this post keeps getting re-written. Okay, well basically I'm off for my run...in the morning because I've decided that I would send the kids to their caregiver today even though I'm off. Being back to work has been great but the holidays came to quickly after starting up again. I've chosen the provincial park trail today as my place to run. I live right in the middle of the woods but I'm going to drive 20 minutes for different woods. Go figure?! ~shakes head and chuckles~ As you can see from the pic though, it is gordgeous. I'll let you know how it goes, today will be my first time at over 90 minutes in a very long time. :) Hope that pack stays light for most of it.

House Exercise

I'm having such a great day. My house was killer cleaned from top to bottom today by moi and a dear friend. It smells like sunshine in here! Then, guess who managed to land a phenomenal deal on a free weights set for home? Yup, me. I'm setting up a super-circuit in my basement and I'm so excited. My neighbour is building me a little three step box for the cardio (along with my jump rope of course) and when we move to the new house my DH will get a buddy to rig up a light with timer! Can you believe how cool this is for me?!

AND that is NOT all folks. Can you believe there is more? I know, I was thinking the same thing..."what more could she possibly hope for in a simple Saturday?" Well, I was accepted into my vocational rehabilitation program. Which means that the Canadian Army will pay me a decent portion of my normal wages to go back to school and they pick up the tuition and books. Then, to sweeten the pot I get a 24 month, interest free loan to purchase the new laptop I need for the program.

I feel like I've won the lottery. Oh, and my run was great today...imagine that?! ~giggles~

At a loss for words

Hard to believe that a Franco-Italian-Canadian can be at a loss for words...but there you have it. I keep my training log and it only has the bare minimum. I got 'the look' from a friend of mine about that just the other day when we were doing our logs in the change room. ~chuckles~ What would I do without you L?!

I'm on meds for my condition again and that makes me even more sleepy than I've already been. Granted the extra water, vitamins and meditation seem to be helping a great deal with that issue.

So, as to my training, well it's been steady and routine. Nothing particularly bad (except the fatigue) and nothing especially noteworthy I suppose. Then again, slow and steady finishes the race and that's not so bad for me right now.

One awesome thing is that the beauty of this place never fails to impress and move me. I couldn't ask for a more gorgeous piece of country to live and run in. And I discovered why the tap water here tastes like pure nectar of the gods. It turns out our water supply is directly tapped from underground, mountain tributaries from Jasper. Pure mountain water! How cool is that?! Well actually it is always quite cold. ~big grin~

Say a prayer or send a postive thought out to the universe for the crazy lady will you?! ~winks~

Oh, before I forget. Please check out my friend Emily's Blog as she has a post about Cell Phones For Soldiers. It's a noble cause to help keep American soldiers connected to their love ones while they are deployed. All you have to do is donate your old cell phones that you may be using for a door stop right now after getting the newest and coolest version. (I have 2 on the way now: one was a door stop and one a paperweight...hope they don't mind the Scooby Doo stickers?! :-) Canadian soldiers are more blessed in this area because even though it is scarce on communications for us sometimes, these poor American soldiers will go through very long stretches without contact home.

Fatigue

Ideas to beat serious fatigue please?

Did the above seem short and abrupt? ;-)  Sorry, I've been 'run off my feet' so-to-speak these days.  I'm a pretty laid back girl (libra type) and this frenzy is just dragging me arse.  Other than fatigue, it was an awesome week.  Went camping on the weekend which was glorious...running in the woods totally, totally rocks. 

What Makes You Run Faster?

So as I ran along on a short 8km today (it's supposed to be a rest day but I couldn't help myself!), I was wondering what it is that makes us run faster. I mean if we are committed to running and we've been doing it awhile, what is that forces you to dig in and find a faster you? Really it would be easy to just do what you can do and accept that, but then there are those moments where you want more right? I'm wanting more, thus the heavy program of course, but when I'm out there and I'm supposed to be poring it on to reach a longer stride, better pace etc. I have to find my reason. To be honest most of my reasons used to involve "a responsible soldier is a fast, heathly, strong soldier." So who am I now and why do I want to be fast?

Here's the funny part, I used the bombing run demonstration to make me go faster today! LOL Honestly, airshow going on and they were doing a bombing run demo and I pretended I was a pearl harbour resident running for the hills! So it was imagination, I was reaching okay?! :-) Just like the proverbial bear chase.



I'm feeling very hot and silly tonight for some reason. ;-)

To Lift or Not To Lift

Well I must say this new weight training program is quite the challenge!  My trainor brought it up a notch last week and wants me to do 2 week divisions as follows: 2 sets of 15 reps at slightly reduced amount of weight with only 30 second rests.  Sound a bit like a super-circuit to you?  Me too.  Then the following 2 weeks will be the normal 2-3 sets of 10-12 reps with 60 second rests.  The final 2 week period is 2 sets of 8 reps at increased weight load.  I do this for 12 weeks and then get new direction.  :-) 
 
My running has really taken off.  It's like I was in waiting process and then bang I shot out of the gate.  My calf and shin pain is gone, my breathing is strong and my legs feel tireless seemingly.  Now that's not to say every day is great.  I have piano butt often enough but I seem to shake it off in the 3rd kilometre most times.   Those days that the piano won't leave me alone, I still feel like I've done well. ~tilts head~
 
I've not been able to take the time to visit much but I do hope everyone's summer and health is holding strong.

Fallen Colleague

Murray was one of those truly wonderful men who made this world a better place simply by smiling and helping.  From wiring the surround sound in a friend's home (ours :-)  to healing a sick soldier or just visiting a lonely wife waiting for her husband to come home from deployment.   He was a strong soldier, a great medic and with any given 3 PPCLI sergeant-major behind him, he was a great runner too!  Mark and I miss him so very much already and always will.  His beautiful wife Susie and 2 year old son Josh remain with us as a testament to his love and devotion, may they find peace and light upon their path again one day.
 

Catch you on the flip Murray! 

Sergeant Murray Thomas Folkins, Army Medic

December 28, 1961 - July 15, 2004

FOLKINS, Sgt. Murray Thomas - 42, Dartmouth, passed away peacefully Thursday, July 15, 2004, at home after a long and courageous battle with cancer. Born December 28, 1961, in Dartmouth, he was a son of Ronald Folkins, Cole Harbour and the late Jean (Walton) Folkins. Forever missed by his loving wife and son; sisters, Charmaine, Cheryl, Rhonda; brother, Ronald; numerous nieces and nephews. Murray had a zest for life and was dedicated towards his 18 year career with the Department of National Defence. He touched the lives of many and will be remembered with smiles by those fortunate enough to know him. Arrangements have been entrusted to Atlantic Funeral Home, 771 Main St., Dartmouth, where the family will receive friends from 2-4, 7-9 p.m. today. Military funeral service will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday in Shearwater Chapel, Padre Marian Korzeniowsky officiating. Interment in St. Andrew's Church Cemetery, Eastern Passage. Reception to follow in Atlantic Funeral Home Family Reception Centre.

 

Flowers welcome or a donation in Murray's memory to Canadian Cancer Society, 1-5826 South St., Halifax, NS B3H 1S6, would be appreciated. Special thanks to the nurses, doctors and volunteers of the 7th and 8th floors, VG Site, QEII. On-line condolences may be sent to the family by visiting: www.atlanticfuneralhomes.com

Ummm...

Not the greatest in running lately, slow and difficult mostly, too much rain, body is a bit sore, life is very busy and my mind is going loopey again. Recharging, will be back with a smile soon I hope. Off on another business trip to Edmonton...see ya soon.

OMG My Watch/HR Monitor is OFF!!

Okay my DH (Darling Husband) is just playing with my HR monitor/watch thingy. Yes, I call all mechanical things...thingies!! He says it's all wonky and not working right. That means my times are likely not correct so perhaps my HR is wrong as well I suppose. Now as it stands I have never paced myself, I'm a feel good runner. Last time I kept stats the coach did it in university and I just nodded and smiled while he read my monitor. Honestly, I'm really quite a lovely person and rather intelligent in a conceptual kind of way but I don't like 'figuring' things out. So, all this to say I need to start over again on my times. DH thinks I should scrap the last two workouts in terms of stats and begin the recording again tomorrow?!! ~Sad face~

And did I mention he pipes up with "I figured your times were way too good?!" This from the skinny fat man (he's very tall and lean but turn him sideways and you'll see the little pot belly he grew on this last deployment! ~shock and giggles~ He's still gordgeous of course)

The up side you ask? Why DH is going to buy me a pretty new HR montior/watch thingy and it might even have a compas on it so there! I wonder if he can get it in red? That is my all time favourite color. Well, until we get to Edmonton to purchase this little gem on the weekend I guess I'll just use a regular watch, try and count the thumps in my neck and see if I can't get an honest stat!!

BBBBBUUUUUGGGGSSSS...YUMMY!!

Yummy Bugs, well if I didn't get enough to eat at dinner my desert of bugs did the trick. Sheesh Louise but running in the evening equals buggy yummies for sure.

8Km with 25lbs in 58:32 min and HR stayed in the 160s(which the latter is EXCEPTIONALLY good for me).

My hubby was waiting on the porch with an ice cold 'free' beer for me. Free Beer meaning the non-alcoholic stuff. It went down rather nice I must say. :-) It's so good to be loved.

Lots of Running, Lots of Life But Not So Much Weight Training

So I started my official trg program today...well, lets back up, I didn't get the weight trg in!! AARRGHH I hate when my schedule changes because everything is all wanky for what feels like weeks until I get a pattern. Mark is at home on leave, the girls are on summer vay, as they call summer vacation, and we are re-organizing the entire house and yard with a million social engagements to boot. Many of our friends are being posted out of course so there are all the goodbyes both official and unofficial.

Okay so today was 6Km with 25lbs in 42:37 which felt incredibly easy. Since hitting the gym was not going to happen I just doubled up on sit-ups, push-ups and my wanna-be pull-ups. Toss in a way too quick stretch and I had rounded up today's health mission in a whopping 1 hour and 2 minutes.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not all that cranky or nearly as whiny as I sound but I am disappointed. So it's all about priorities...not hard to tell I'm addicted to the run eh?!

Rockin' Legs

Happy Father's Day to my sweet, devoted Husband Mark!!

And Happy Father's Day to all you wonderful, loving Dads out there!

Today's run totally rocked. Technically today was a day off but since tomorrow is jammed packed with an interview, some detailed 'military administration' (~rolls eyes~ it's always 20 copies of each of the 40 forms I swear) and a trip to the city, I decided I'd get the run in today and just catch the weight training in the early morning.

The Run

Did I mention it totally rocked?! I was a bit gunky in the congestion department at first but my legs were tireless and strong. My stride was long and my pace was kick-ass! I did my 8k in 43 minutes, which is definitely awesome for me. I'm still not recording until 1 July though and I didn't wear my HR monitor either. Stubborn eh? ~shakes head~

Running high...later folks!

Family & Then Some

Good golly miss molly! I've had so much family here visiting since Wed and they all finally just left. God bless 'em but adios (sp?) dear ones. Whenever I hit the trail or the gym you'd think I was somehow abandoning them for a torrid affair or some such; as though working out was a dreadful crime. How is it, do you suppose, they imagined I developed the ability to run 10km with 35lbs on my back anyway...by eating bon bons and watching soap operas?

Well, my running was good and really strong. My legs are becoming quite the powerful little machines I must say. Plus, needing to burn the stress off was like having a personal little after burner! ~winks~ Oh and the new Wt training program was WAY too much fun.

Richard, I may have gotten carried away with the whole swinging arms things while on my hill run the other night. A friend of mine (Warrant Officer) slowed down in his car as I ran and asked why I was marching as I ran?! LOL Still, it really did seem to 'shake it all loose' and it felt quite natural to exaggerate the swing beyond what I'm used to. It felt like I was pulling myself forward if that makes sense. Haven't spoken to the trainors about the shins yet unfortunately but hopefully I'll catch her on Monday.

Before I leave, please hit Mark's most amazing post on children and running. It is nothing short of marvelous and inspired...and not just because he posted it for my sweet little bug. Aaron and Mark are the two awesome running mentors behind these children...check them out.

MMC Training Highlights Phase I

Okay there are 4 Phases broken into 3 month groups. Since I have this program long-hand I'm typing in, i.e. being lazy, so I'll just do phase I tonight.

Jul/Aug/Sep
(25lb ruck on med and long runs; weekends off; X-Train should be canoeing at least 2/mnth and last week of month = active recovery w/o ruck)

Jul

Mon 6k + wts
Tue 8k
Wed X-train (wk 1 30 min, wk 2 45 min, wk 3 60 min= 30/45/60 rule )
Thr light cardio @ 30/45/60 rule + wts
Fri 10k

Wts for Jul - Strength and muscle mass

Aug

Mon 4 hills + wts
Tue 10k
Wed X-Train 30/45/60 rule
Thr light cardio @ 30/45/60 rule + wts
Fri 13k

Wts for Aug - Strength

Sep

Mon 8k + wts
Tue 10k
Wed X-Train 30/45/60 rule
Thr light cardio @ 30/45/60 rule + wts
Fri 16k

Wts for Sep - Endurance

Wt Program
(formulated for back injury @ SI joint dislocation and knee injury @ PFS)

Wts - Strength + Muscle Mass

8-12 Reps @ 2-3 sets w/ 30-90 sec rest

barbell squats
standing leg curls
calf raises
crunches - ball
back extensions
x-overs - ball
1 arm dumbbell row
bench press
shoulder press
bicep curl
tricep extension

Wts - Strength

6-10 reps @ 3-4 sets w/ 2-5 min rest

leg press
lying leg curls
chest press machine
lateral raise machine
knee lifts/hanging knee lifts
back extensions

Wts - Endurance

15-20 reps @ 2 sets w/ 30-60 sec rest

ball squats
ball supine hamstring curls
seated row
dips machine
pull-ups machine
dumbbell shoulder raise - front, side, back
core stabilizer - plank (1 min)
back extensions
core stabilizer - side holds (1 min)

Praise for Rays & New Program

Don't get me wrong folks. I honestly am not a 'fair weather runner,' BUT I am definitely happier when I am running beneath the rays of the sun. I struggle with some seasonal moods issues in conjunction with my PTSD so I tend to be a sun worshipper. Not the bronzing tanner type but in that I look up to the bright yellow orb and breathe in the joy it seems to impart. I have this incredibly lovely dark brown farmer's tan. Okay, make that runner's tan. I try to remove my glasses long enough to take care of the racoon problem but it's still a bit noticeable if you're paying attention! ~big grin~ Doesn't matter to me, my brown aspects are visible marks of my joyful wanderings. And if the sun has not ever been enough, this new posting of ours is truly a remarkable place. It's very wild and untouched by human hands in so many ways. I've run into bears a couple times lately, including today. I make enough noise that we each keep our distance to be sure. It feels so odd that I get to share the earth with such noble brothers and sisters. I feel like such a small inconsequential part of this giant Mother Earth all of the sudden. Oddly, I also feel tremendously blessed and unique for being allowed to be running and living in such natural presence.

Emotions and Stretching

I've noticed that I am definitely an emotional runner. I was feeling strong and at peace today. With my husband home, my cornerstone, I feel like I could leap tall buildings, catch speeding locamotives or simply gaze tirelessly at his sleeping face. (jet lag takes awhile to get over :-) Subsequently, my run was strong, and my stride was noticeably longer. I've been adding a great deal of time to my stretching lately. My breathing was stable too even though I often struggle in this area when spring changes to summer. (pollins perhaps?)

I do need to learn to 'let go' of my upper body however. I'm still tensing up a great deal in the shoulders. Especially when I run hills. The result is early fatigue of course and tight muscles with nasty lactic acid build up. I could likely circle the spots under my scapula with a marker where the knots show up to show the trouble areas and they would never change by more than a milimetre or two after every single run.

As to stretching, I'm needing to stretch out my shins more but I'm stumped. I have only the basic flex and point stretch. Any advice would be awesome?!

The New MMC Program

I'm more excited than a kid in a candy store over the 12 month program my trainers came up with for me to compete in next year's MMC. I'm truly beginning to feel like I can absolutely accomplish this goal without any injury. It's incredibly well balanced and the two gals that created it have different areas of speciality (strength for one and endurance for the other), so they were like a match made in heaven. I start the real program 1 July but I'm doing a modified version of the first week this week and next. The weight training portion is really exciting. It cycles from focus on Mass to Endurance to Strength. (had no idea they were separate issues!!)

I'll try and post the actual program as I go. I know it's important for me to start training and logging properly. This is such a hard change for a free, emotional spirit like me. Wish me luck. ~winks~

Thanks

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful and kind support. I can honestly say, without doubt, this support system adds a large dimension of motivation to my goals and healing.

Beijos and Blessing Runners!

Slipped Away

Life

Ever go through a space in time when it feels like your life was sucked into a vortex of such trivial business that you're totally tired but have almost nothing to show for your efforts? Well that has been the last week and a half of our lives. Not that this is bad, just a little dizzying I think. However, our Daddy (my dear Husband) is finally home from abroad. Word on the street is that he may be here for as much as 3 months before he's off again. WooHoo!!

Running

I've only been able to run lately. My weight training was limited to a day here or there. I ended up with bursitis in my left elbow which put upper body on hold so I only popped in for the lower body and ab work. I'm back in the game now and today was wonderful, strong though quite a short run. The rain over the last 10 days has been a royal bummer however.

Stuff

So I have 10 minutes to catch up on other running friends and post for Bug on her blog. (Bug has been kicking my butt in the dedication department this week. Never lags to get out the door at all...she's my inspiration!)

Mixing It Up?

Well 10Km felt like forever today. I couldn't get on the elyptical because I had the girls with me so it was on foot. God bless my little ladies, they were on their bikes and were absolute troopers I must say. However, there were lots of stops with them along. Not that it was bad...just long. Actually I had a friend come and pick them up at about 7Km and take them for popsicles while I finished up. Those walkie talkies were originally for emergancy but I think this was a valid use too. ~smiles~ (Dad coming home in the next week is going to be such a treat in SO many ways!!)

The Run

The pace was not hard of course given the 'family forum version' but it occurred to me that without a troop Warrant making recommendations for push-ups, sit-ups, burpees etc. on the route, there aren't any surprise physical challenges on the way. I wonder if I'm selling myself short on potential physical development areas as a result? I have of course added the weight training program but I can't yet fit in the spinning class or the aqua-jog at this point because of the change in schedules at the fitness centre. The goal I've selected is certainly challenging enough; even with the prolonged and modified 1 year program. So it occurs to me that I'm not doing so well at just 'making it up' on my own at all. I am waiting for Tammi to give me the official 1 year program to work with, however, I want to feel like I can somehow create and learn how to improve my fitness and reach personal potentials on my own.

Running Thoughts

I think perhaps I'm having follow the leader withdrawels. ~sigh~ I started running in grade 6 by joining the cross-country team and then when I went off to university I truly started adding running to my daily life. It was a fix for study stress. (I'm a serious worry wart) I've been thinking about my 'beginning' a great deal lately as I watch my daughter begin to develop serious interests in various sports and now running. My goals were always simple: in the beginning it was stress reduction so distance and speed etc were irrelevent. I did races for fun because the people were so wonderful and I only cared if I finished. When I joined the military my goal was to keep up and not be singled out for 'discipline.' Of course I also focussed on passing the yearly fitness test but daily PT and the Troop Warrant's program took care of that. Even as the preagnancies came and went I just ran to feel good about myself and keep my required fitness level in check for 'my job.' Now I'm suddenly wanting something entirely different. I don't want trophies or placements BUT I want more than to just do it. I want to improve, progress and develop. I'm just not sure exactly what that means or how to translate it into my daily program. And in spite of my newfound desires I worry that I will take away the joy that running has always brought to me.

The wind and sun are like the Great Spirit's hand upon my face. The centre of my soul is like a calm pool after I run. The ripples of that silence and peace echo out into my whole being. Running is fundamentally a part of who I am and yet it continues to change, shift and demand a different form in my life as I myself grow and change. In the words of the great Pooh Bear, I must 'think think think.'

Perhaps I should rename my blog to: the philosophical meanderings of my running soul? ~smiles~

My Daughter

My eldest daughter, nick-named Bug, has started her first blog to accompany her official start to running. She has always run with me over the years...from inside the womb to the running stroller (which is very cumbersome in a mall by the way); then in the winter she was in a sled which I'd harness myself up to and pull her along. She often does a warm-up jaunt around the block with me then join me for a stretch or two. Since she learned how to bike I would also let her bike along side and around me while I was out and about as well. Actually, when I would begin to slack off of my running and sink into a misery or funk, it was Bug who would encourage me out the door again by begging to do stretches with me or go for a warm up run etc. "Maybe you're sad 'cause you aren't running Maman? You always say running makes your heart happy." Those words have been uttered more times than I can remember and I'm ever so grateful for her unconditional love and encouragement. If not for her (and her sweet little sister) I often wonder if I'd have given up on myself long ago?

In any event, she finally decided (with a lot of 'encouragement' from her Mom of course ~winks~) to start her very own running program. A program where she can set fun little goals and earn rewards for achieving them. In fact, my hope is to start a running club for young girls here in town eventually. Fitness is so vital for a strong, happy life and I'm determined to ensure that my little womyn get all I can give in that department.

Anyway, you can find Bug by clicking on her nickname of course (or as below) and give her a little encouragement.

Bug On The Run

Barometric Pressure

As though somehow my friends and colleagues secretly knew that I was curious about the barometric pressure question that Mark brought up, the whole issue of headaches, sluggish troops on PT (Physical Training) and bad moods has been the sole topic of discussions today.

Everyone agrees that a drop in barometic pressure, in particular what we are experiencing up here in Northern Alberta at present, is the sort of horrible, demonic weather occurrence that tampers with our performance. Today was absolutely DREADFUL on my run. My head was about ready to explode from the moment I awoke and it was one of those days when the shoes are too tight, then too loose, the pack is sitting all wrong and there is no fix, my legs were cramping and didn't want to 'warm up' plus I'd lost my favourite Nalgene water bottle. I can only get these bottles in Edmonton or online (which means waiting and that is not my favourite sport at all heehee). So for all that, I still LOVED being outside, under the sun, listening to my tunes and doing some sort of foot shuffle that I hesitate to call running. ~big grin~

My daughter had a Mexican Fiesta at school today and the nourishment was splendid. I had no idea there were so many Mexican 'good food' choices! It was an absolute blast and my tired achy little self was delighted to sit back, get fed and visit with so many adults. (With Mark (my husband) away, I find I miss adult conversation a bit...especially since I don't go to work daily) In any event, this is where one fellow was telling me his platoon was slower than a group of turtles using walkers. He said everyone seemed to have a splitting headache, they were dehydrated and their legs were talking back. They remedied the running ailments by stopping at the local greasy spoon for a late breakfast/coffee instead of continuing on! LMBO

So to finish off the otherwise tangent oriented blog, I'm pretty excited about getting my training plan next week. Tammi thinks she'll have it ready for me around Wed. You know, since I decided to take the whole year and work up slowly, running has been more 'fun.' I just realized that as I type! I guess it was the right choice.

ONWARD we go Runners!

She-Rah!

I'm feeling like She-Ra Warrior Princess, running speed demon these days. Well, it's all relative of course, but for me it's a huge influx of speed lately. You know when you are taking a course and trying to learn something new but it's not working? Then, one morning you wake up and you JUST know IT. Very mysteriously you were infused with great bounds of knowledge! Okay, so add that to a running metaphor. :) Sorry, I'm wiped but had missed my blog so much that I wanted to post before bed. LOL

So my back health is improving steadily again. However, I tracked down a veteran MMC trainer to produce a 1 year build up plan for me. I'm simply not prepared to take a hit on the ole spinal column but I feel confindent that this is definitely do-able with the right prep work.

8 more sleeps and my sweet, darling husband will be home. YaHoo!!

TTFN Runners

Just Running

Well my back has really been doing rather poorly so I've been running without a pack for a couple days now. Both yesterday and today it was solid, decent pace run. In fact, I believe my breathing has been really good. My legs have always been my strongest asset and my lungs I have struggled with. Anyway, I'm not sure if the pack runs are helping in some way to develop my lung capacity, along with the Yoga I've been focussing on for 3 months now, but whatever it is I will say it seems to be working finally.

Now for my back situation. The Doctor was not very supportive about my MMC aspirations HOWEVER he did not preclude it. He was actually quite wonderful in that he listened patiently to my 'history' quite intently it seemed. He was willing to sign off, and did so, but he cautioned me to be extremely careful and NEVER push myself through any kind of pain. SO, that means the ball is back in my court. Don't you hate it when the universe still forces you to face your own demons and make your own decisions? Anyway, I'm going to go to the next meeting, get the training schedule and start the program. My thought is that even if I can't handle the full program and be prepared for September's MMC, I can carry on for the full year and do the next one. It would be my own special super-long build up training program. Besides, the team are made up of the most remarkable folks. They have so much to share above and beyond the MMC itself so I'm not ready to part company with them. ~smiles~

Besides, I have my own personal Medic coming home in 13 sleeps who can help me make good day to day health choices when my back begins to talk back.

ONWARD it is then!



Unfortunately there is no site devoted to the MMC but here is a banner from an old one to add a little ambiance to my post.

Running With The Enemy

Holy hard run! I felt like I was fighting every injury enemy I own today. However, the sun and air were wonderful and while my mind was preoccupied with ouch this and yikes that, my feet were obviously not paying attention because I beat my best time on an 8Km pack run to date: 50 minutes even! HELLO??!! That is 6 minutes off the last one. I know that I was very well hydrated today. I'm always on the verge of not quite enough water these days, so I think the extra may very well have been my personal after burner. ;)

Here's something interesting. Now that I surf the Runner's Blogs boards I feel less 'alone' in what do. Not that there aren't a hundred runners a day laced up alongside me, but it's a whole new level of interesting exchange in a love for running. I feel like running is now something I truly share openly and joyfully instead of simply bashfully admitting to being one of *those* people that runs because I like it.

I'm feeling pretty good today and that works for me.

Warm & Noisy

Well today is going to prove to be a very warm day indeed. The sun is already filling my space with warmth and joy. The jet jocks are in the final stages of competition so it's very noisy outside to say the least. I'm going to save my run for the afternoon though I've just finished my weight training already! The gym was pretty much empty so I was able to zip through as quick as a bunny. I'm upto 36Kg total on the isolateral pull so for me that feels like a giant accomplishment. I never thought I'd ever regain my strength again seemingly.

My back is hurting pretty badly today and the NSAIDs are barely touching the pain. My medical had been postponed to this week from last because of my friend's health situation. So the anticipation of knowing whether or not I may continue with the MMC training is starting to eat away at me. In any event, today I will need to focus on stretching and back exercises. I'm now adding a spin class once a week for cross-training and I think I shall add aqua-jogging again too. That will give me only 3 days a week on my good old fashioned feet. My cardio/pack trg will look something like this for the next two weeks:

Mon Elyptical with 15kg pack mixed-interval 60min
Tue spin class (not sure of length yet I think 40min)
Wed on foot with 15Kg pack 8Km route
Thu Aqua-jog 40min
Fri on foot with 15Kg pack 8Km route
Sat Elyptical mixed-interval 60min or on foot 12Km route (NO PACK)
Sun and she saw that it was good so she Rested

After this I'll keep the same layout but increase time and distance on foot. If I'm allowed to train then I will also begin to add the extra 120lbs, for 3km stretches, to simulate the portage portion of the program. Not sure where/when that will be incorporated but I'm rather certain the coach will have an idea.

So what if Veteran's affairs so says no way at medical time? Well I guess I'll take off the pack and do a traditional training program with the distance and speed aspects in mind. At some point early next year I will re-evaluate and hopefully begin to add weight to my back again. In the meantime I'm adding plenty of core stability training, about 12 minutes a day, to develop my core strength. I think it's even time for a formal pilates element in the form of a class. However, that needs to wait until DH is home and can spell me off in the evening with the children so that I can get to a class.

Well that pulls out lots of my where am I and what am I up to for now so I'm off to make like a house wife for a bit. Honestly, it still feels so wierd even after 10 months to be a SAHM or HW!! Will I ever be able to join the work world again??!!! Especially one that doesn't wear green and salute things!

Beijos To My Shoes

I love my new shoes. I have a pair of New Balance 855s and after the first blisters of the break-in phase, I have to say these are some wonderful little foot huggers. My low arched, overpronating feet combined with a case of plantar fascitis on the right foot, desire nothing short of a strict regime of motion control and good cushioning. These little ladies have both in abundance.

I hit the running trails back in my most recent, previous home this weekend and they held up on the woody, ruggard terrain beautifully. The smell of newly budding flora and wet sand was so welcoming to my restless spirit. I had chosen precisely the right combination of dri-fit T with a thin, storm tech overlayer on top and my favourite Hind running tights on bottom. Top that off, or should I say bottom that off, with my spiffy new blue and yellow NB 855s and I was left feeling like an old hand at the running gig. I was also immensely grateful that I have the physical ability to run no matter how fast or slow.

Do you ever just stop and think...thank you shoes? LOL Well, I did. :) I also took a moment to thank my God for all the wonderful blessings in my life, big and small.

Beijos running friends.

And The Beat Goes On

Isn't it amazing how when tragedy strikes the world keeps moving? It seems both cruel and comforting all at once. I found out today that our best friends, whom we were posted away from last July, are facing Cancer and death. The husband, Monty, has been told he should have been dead some time ago and that he's on borrowed time. They can still carry on with some treatment but it's a crap shoot in terms of possible success. I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.

So what did I do first thing? You guessed it, bandaged my foot, laced up and hit the trail. My angels must have helped me with the bandages because I didn't feel a thing. I ran and remembered his cheerful, goofy smile. He loves to run...and jump of course. He's Airborne. As the kilometers melted underneath my feet I began to feel so grateful for Monty & Pegs' presence in our lives again, the way I had given thanks for them many previous times. Somehow they are 'just like us' and they seem to know what we are, who we are and why. Likewise we are the same for them, like kindred families if you will?

The sun was shining in a bright, vibrant blue sky as I stretched into my full stride and let the tears once again splash from my cheeks onto the path. At that moment, a group of F-16s came flying in out of my NW field; almost like a harbinger of good faith and painful memory. It was Monty's company that had been accidentally bombed in Afghanistan on his and Mark's last tour...I guess the last tour for Monty ever now of course. As the Americans danced in the air above me I remembered how many times Monty have cheated death in uniform. Why would I think that he wouldn't plan to be utterly magnificent in his defiance and skill once again? I remember he and my Husband, when someone uses the phrase: "I'd die for my country," would respond: "Well I sure as hell won't. Let the other guy die for his country 'cause I'm living for mine!" Absolutely, foolishly sure we are, each of us, that we will not be the one to fall.

I kept running and the fighter games continued on in the sky. I halted and ran on the spot for awhile as a group of school children crossed my path on their way to swim lessons. I nodded greetings to a couple groups of foreign flight crews as I was warming into my 4th km. Life just carried on as I ran. I was calmed and soothed by that and yet at the same moment I wanted to yell up to all the magnificent metal birds who were weaving in the sky: "can you go give Monty a fly by? I think he would like that. He's dying and I don't know what to tell him. I just want him to be better."

I sent my wishes and heartache up into the sky and the rhythm of my running, my long strides, created a strong current that I knew would send them straight to heaven. As I breathed in my precious clean air and turned my face to the sky I just knew that whatever it is life gives me to work with, I was going to wrap it up in a beautiful, giant, running bow.

And the rays shall lead me back

Well, I sure wasn't going to settle for sitting with my tender little tootsie up while the sun was beckonning all the locals into her warmth. Besides, the jet jocks are up to some pretty amazing stunts these days. I just love watching them swoop and dive in amongst themselves like flocks of geese grooving to a little Bryan Adams. I love watching the 'show' while I run.

So, here was my masterful trick to get through the run. My success is thanks to my wonderful Medic of a husband's experience. I grabbed a nice piece of telfa (non-stick gauze) and smooshed on some polysporin and zylocaine gelly. Place that over the wound, then wrap in light gauze. Finish with my regular sports tape. Worked beautifully. I'll admit I didn't break out of a trot and in fact kept to walk/trot splits for the 8km BUT I did go and that's what matters.

I'm feeling pretty cheeky right now. Granted much less so every time I go to stand up. ~sheesh~ Oh well, I think I needed the little setback to bring into focus whether or not I was ready for this sort of goal setting. What I learned is that I'm at least ready to try really damn hard. For once I'm not here to beat myself up into doing it but work hard on my terms to get where I, Reba, choose to go. What a feeling!

OMG - OUCH!

I just had to get on and feel sorry for myself. So when I went off to have my shower and take my tape off. aside: I tape my arches because I overpronate a fair bit plus I add a little telfa to prevent and protect the blister spots. Well I was busy grooving to some tunes and feeling so good I just ripped the tape right off of my left foot. OMG I ripped a whole chunk of skin right off!! ~tears~ I've gone down the labour and delivery road of course, I've broken a bone, trashed my knee falling from a skid when learning to rappel, dislocated my SI joint and gotten metal shrapnel in the eye...guess what? THIS HURT MORE!! Holy crap...ouch, ouch, ouch. Okay, well, at the moment I was sure it hurt more.

Allrighty then, so someone needs to pay better attention when good moods strike. With my Medic Husband off saving the world for yet another month I'm left to care for my own wounds. Hopefully I do as well as he does...I will have to do without the soothing, strong hands that make my feet look like a wee babies of course but I'll manage.

I think I'll go surf the RW forums and see if anyone has some really great ideas for wrapping and healing quickly. I feel much better now...~deep sigh~ I like self pity in small, comforting doses.

WooHoo

I don't know how else to describe today except: WooHoo

Weight Training was Triceps and Biceps Day. I especially like doing the Preacher Curl exercise because I can physically watch the improvement in that particular muscle. Competing for weights and space in the gym wasn't too bad today so I was able to do everything in the correct order for once. I like order...call me anal I suppose.

The weather was precisely perfect and I finally broke my little rutt of doing only 6Km and went for 8Km. I also loaded up with the full 15Kg of weight into my pack. So it was 8Km with 15Kg in 56 minutes. That's still below the standard, but then again I'm not training for operational theatre am I? I'm still not using a ruck sack yet though. I want to make it to 20Km and ensure my back is ready for the spine killer. At least we don't wear combat boots for this event anymore eh?!

So life seems to be back on track. I'm eating and sleeping on my regular schedule. No mood swings or nightmares in 2 sleeps! Well, can believe I've been so busy again today that I haven't showered? So I best finish up and take dinner off the stove to feed my little ladies then run off for a cleaning. :)

God's Hand in the Sunshine

Today was awesome! I did my weight training first then off I went for an outdoor short pack-run. 45 minutes of sun that absolutely filled the sky. What seemed like a million jets left their graceful marks accross the sky as they played and danced in their game to determine the best while I ran. I ended up running part of the way with a dear friend, which I absolutely try never to do (I'm a lone runner by nature), and we had a great time. It kept my pace strong but reasonable too which I needed since my knee is behaving badly again and the blisters were still a bit wanky.

I LOVE the heat...well Northern Canadian heat that is, so by most accounts I suppose that doesn't count for much. LOL I love how it feels to empty my camel back by the end of the run and be drenched in sweat. It was actually 22 above! Not a snowflake in sight. ~big grin~

I go for my clearance medical later this week to see if I can join the Mountain Man Triathalon team that is training for next year's competition. I'm so nervous. I want so badly to have a meaningful goal and the Mountain Man has important benchmarks for me. I struggle with pushing myself and getting better while still ensuring that I don't cause any serious injury. When I smashed up my knee the first time they told me I should never ruck again. I did every single exercise they gave and found more of my own, I took glucosamine and chondrotin (sp?) supplements, added new stretches and I built myself up slowly until I was successfully rucking again 10 months later. Come to think of it they said that about my back first time I got hurt and I was still able to build up slowly and properly to meet the Army BFT (Basic Fitness Test) standard the following year for Kosovo pre-deployment training. So, I want to make sure that I listen carefully but be aware enough to recognize if their prognosis of my back or knee is more drastic than what I know I can overcome. Still I only get on the team if I clear the medical.

I'll admit I'm pretty nervous too of getting on the team and starting to watch the numbers and stats on me begin to roll by. I'm a girl that lives life by brail as my husband says. I go by how I feel, what seems right etc. Watching my times, my distances etc feels like turning joy to something impersonal. I realize they are important and even vital to reaching goals and I've always submitted to them when ordered to for whatever team I was working on while in the military, but this time its a choice.

Well too many thoughts rolling around in my pretty but sweaty little head today so I'll hit the shower and then it should be time to pick up the chicklettes from school.

Training with Children

Normally Sunday is my rest day but since yesterday had to be a write off I decided today would be important. So with no childcare (Husband is still deployed back in Afghanistan) and keeping with my priority of family stays together on Sundays, I strapped up the pack and put my girls on wheels and off we went.

It was great, Sophie was my interval trainer. She would scoot ahead as fast as she could on her bike and she'd make me catch her. Micheila was my 'smelling the roses' girl. She made me stop and look at all the beautiful, natural treasures along the millenial trail we were on. I was very conscious of posture and method of bending, lifting etc. I think that was good stability work for my back.

So it was 6Km with a broken pace, some good sprints and 2 hills, both moderate. Overall I think it was actually a pretty decent run and the joy of having my little ladies with me...well that's just good training for the heart strings.

The only downside were the blisters on my arches from the new runners. I changed runners from Saucony Grid Shadow 8s to New Balance 855. Which incidentally I can't seem to find these new babies online but they sure felt right when I did my little thing at the shoe store. I've had great shoes that gave me blisters first time out a couple times before and they worked out well with a little tweeking of the inserts and arch taping. I should be taping regularly anyway on my right foot for the plantar fascitis that tends to flare up when I add weight to my runs. So hopefully this was just a little something that will work out...Lord help me because shoes are going up and up constantly. A lot like the price of gas. LOL

Golly was I hungry afterward though...~tilts head~

NO Shift Work

One of the ominous aspects of my medical release from the military was that I could no longer stay in because I was not permitted to do Shift Work. Well what is a soldier if not on a myriad of shifts in theatre? 24, 36, 48 hour shifts with 3 hours sleep to start again. Still it amazes me that when I simply loose sleep, like last night being up with 2 sick chidren until 3am and then rising at 7 to carry on with day, I can't manage the least bit of normal function in terms of my workout. The horrible irony there is that my emotions are in a dreadful state and running makes me right...in every single way, running make me RIGHT.

Seargent Major on the Run

Background: The base I live on is in the middle of a Canadian version of the American Top Gun competition (Exercise Maple Flag) and we have air force personnel from many different countries living with us for about 2 months while the competition ensues.

Well, this is just one of those moments where the universe makes you go 'huh?' ~tilting head & squinching up my nose~ On my outdoor pack-run this morning an American Sgt-Maj (called a First Sgt I believe he said the equivalent of a Cdn Sgt-Maj) saddles on up next to me and drops his pace to catch mine. He was not out of breath from doing this either though I'd say he would have had to really stretch it out to catch me! When I left there was no one coming to the trail and I was 3km out when he caught me.

"I've been watching you run this past two weeks and the look on your face made me want to find out why you're doing it" he explained.

At his words I looked out at the long rows of rusted mental relics that sat crumpled in my mind. I know that they are now mostly a picture and not my reality, but still they lurk and lumber in my waking shadow. His querry was so much deeper than the words he used. Or perhaps it wasn't and I was simply in a place that required my truths to finally spill out onto my running path. Quiet tears began rolling down my cheeks at his words, and this response, at one time, was this soldier's worst nightmare. I said nothing. I hadn't even given him more than a polite nod by this point when he had gained my ground. In spite of my tears and apparent rudeness, he just ran beside me content to wait patiently for my answer. About 500 meters down the path I said: "I'm just not ready to let go sgt-maj," to which he nodded as though he were standing beside me in my junk yard, surveying the broken down, rusted out pieces splayed before us.

How is it that he knew I hadn't simply meant not ready to let go of the military or hell, not ready to take out the garbage for that matter?!

We ran the whole course together. I quietly cried for most of it. But his presence made my pack almost invisible in it's weight. I realized that the reason I run with a pack is because it is a physical manifestation of the burden of my memories. This just hits me as I think about my answer to Running Chick in an earlier "comment block." With him beside, quietly accepting and acknowledging my filthy, sprawling junk yard, the weight seemed diminished. His validation took the weight out of my junk. No one will bother you about the dreadful garbage pit you live in if they see you working very hard to clean it up right? But if they don't mind being in your dump and came only to see you, well, you needn't tire yourself out looking like a responsible garbage dump owner trying to rid the world of your yard's dreadful pestilence.

When we returned to the sports centre I introduced myself by name and said "thank you" with the most truth I have ever used to utter those words. What I meant was thank you for shouldering my junk yard sgt-maj, thank you for validating my 'place' and thank you for not needing to fill the air with all those things that mean nothing.

Do you believe in angels? I do. Do you think that running without my sgt-maj, as my blog title boasts, was a phrase conjured from relief to be free of a uniform or duty? It wasn't. I loved my uniform, my sgt-majs and my duty. Though there is much needed freedom and space for me now to grow, I long for the image of what it was I expected to be while clad in green and saluting my flag.

Pack Day...Inside

My weight load is up again this week in 2/3rds of my exercises. That feels incredible.

I've decided to run with pack on the elyptical. At first when it was 'pack' day I simply went outside because, well, it never occurred to me you could run with pack...inside. But what the hell really, I couldn't go outside since I'd forgotten proper clothes for the weather (snow AGAIN grrr), and it was 'pack' day, so I just strapped it on and hopped up. Worked well actually. It was a wonderful change not to have a throbbing, hideously aching knee afterward.

My body is definitely responding to my efforts not that my clothing has changed much...a wee bit here and there. However, my energy and self-image are definitely fitting into a bigger picture.

Did I mention I can't seem to tolerate anything remotely greasy or sweet?! How cool is that?

Man I'm Good...But The Diet Must Follow

Holy knicker whackers but I'm a good runner with pack! What is it about the pack that makes me better instead of slowing me down? My weight training is coming along great. Who would have thought short muscle bellies exisited and were a good thing? I look like a cherub she-rah though. I don't hate my appearance, heck my DH adores me still and I swear the man is obviously blind since he seems not to notice the relief map of the Andes on my mid-section. Then again it's his fault for getting me preagnant six times right?

Anyway, I have always eaten quite well but when the flashbacks and nightmares start I end up in the carb isle far too long. I'm certainly not in the NO CARBS or Atkins Diet category BUT I certainly know balance when I see it and especially when I don't. Helps that I'm a Libra of course. ;) Balance is missing.

Time to face the demons again so here I am running like hell and eating the carbs. The She-Rah Cherub prevails...well today was acknowledgement day so let tomorrow be changing that day.

Finally a Goal

Okay, so my goal is to be able to run the 32km with pack portion of the Aynsworth Dyer Mountain Man competition in 2005. I'm up to 1 hour and 10 minutes with said pack. Haven't been tracking the kilometers yet because mostly I run/ruck for emotional reasons these days. I think I will start to track in June. I still have a few more big emotions to tame right now. I was inspired by the Running Chick, a blogspot I found here. She's a true runner in her heart and I'm looking for the inner runner in me right now; or the inner penguin as the famous author of The Penguin Chronicles in RW magazine would say. (www.runnerworld.com)

Super tired so this is boring and simple once again. Where has the writer in me gone these days? Oh well, all in it's time of course.

Oh Yes the other Running Chick

Brilliant BLOG spot and trying to find this amazing womyn here on BLOGGER but I'm on a new computer without my faves for a whole week! I just love her...reminding myself to put her link on here. Can you believe I figured out how to do that all by myself? ~big grin~

Eventually I will be as regular as my bowel movements with this darn blog

Ran with 23lb pack 2 hills, one steep and one moderate. Reasonable pace, nothing noteworthy and breathing stunk just like meester skunky pooh on the side of the road out back. Good to feel the soldier blood again...only for a few moments but it reminded me of my inner strength.

You Mean I LIKED The Running?

So now that the uniform is off, folded in the closet, I still love to run. Always have. Here I go out on my own without the Sgt-Maj's boot up my proverbial rear-end to spur me on. It's all about me! Lets see where I end up shall we?!